I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
BRING THE BAGELS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
