sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize