Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
