Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
