jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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