Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
