You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
