I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize