fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize