In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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