That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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