Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Randomize
