Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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