he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
