boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
