so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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