yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
