I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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