You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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