U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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