wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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