Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
