meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize