My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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