she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
