is your mom at the bar?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
