you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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