Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
