we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
