he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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