Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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