Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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