In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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