first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
