meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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