come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
