I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my shit smells like andre
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
