Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
