ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize