I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
