we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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