turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
