Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize