sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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