is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
