one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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