so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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