So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
