so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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