and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
