looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
