Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
