I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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