Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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