Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
