The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i think im in europe. pls send help
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
