i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
