I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
