You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
