what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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